2015

Selflessness-the Marriage Mender

April 22, 2015 2Comments

I promised myself that I would never write a blog about relationships because, well, I suck at relationships. Nevertheless, in an effort to make myself a liar……here it goes.

In my opinion, the most important relationship is between me and the big guy, aka Jesus. The second most important relationship is between me and my wife. I already have one failed marriage under my belt. Therefore, when I said “I do” again, I meant it. However, as the years passed, the aggravations, the hurts, and the disappointments, piled up on both of us.

Well, today my marriage is not so bad. In fact, it’s great. So, what happened? Actually, several things happened, but mainly my relationship with Jesus got better. When that relationship got better it simply trickled down into all my other relationships. Probably, the most pertinent thing I learned from Jesus is selflessness, the opposite of selfishness. It is a tough and constant lesson, but it is vital to relationships. It is especially vital in marriage.

Jesus was the most perfect example of selflessness. Since he was the son of God, he could’ve had everyone serve him. However, he chose to serve others. He spent much of his time wandering from town to town healing the sick. He said that the second most important commandment is “love your neighbor as you love yourself”. He also said, “love your enemies”. Ultimately, he was crucified, not because of anything he did wrong, but to pay the debt for all that we have done wrong. That’s some hardcore selflessness.

So, if we are supposed to be selfless enough to “love our enemies” and “love our neighbors as we love ourselves”, then how much more selfless should we be with our spouses? Ouch. It was hard, and it still is hard. But when I finally started putting her needs above mine, we had a breakthrough. Suddenly, she felt loved, and I felt respected, which was what we wanted all along. Things got better between us and quickly, too.

Being selfless will work in any relationship. It may take longer if the other person is not “on board” or if the other person has given up. The other person may also take advantage of the generosity and not reciprocate…..at first. But selflessness is contagious. Sooner or later the other person will see the changes and want to reciprocate the selflessness. That’s when the marriage gets better and life gets easier.

I’m ending all my posts with an invitation to accept Jesus. If you would like at accept Jesus simply pray the following prayer or one like it: “Dear Lord, I’m a sinner. I acknowledge that You sent Your son, Jesus, to die for my sins. I humbly accept Your son, Jesus, and I now further acknowledge that I am forgiven of my past sins, my present sins, and my future sins.” If you prayed that simple prayer, you are saved. Now, you need to follow Jesus. Start reading your Bible. I would suggest starting with Matthew, reading all of the New Testament, then reading the Old Testament. Also, find a good church. Christianity was never meant to be done alone. You need to be in community with other believers.

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Can’t-trianity or Freedom?

March 31, 2015 0Comment

I can remember growing up in Eastern Kentucky very vividly. I can remember my parents talking about so-and-so getting “saved”. At that time, I didn’t even know what getting “saved” meant. I’d hear my parents say that so-and-so got saved. Then so-and-so also stopped smoking, stopped drinking, stopped going to bars, and stopped “running around” with members of the opposite sex. In my juvenile brain, it sounded like so-and-so just became very uncool.

So, my idea of Christianity became “Can’t-trianity”. You can’t smoke, you can’t drink, you can’t listen to rock-n-roll music, you can’t go to a bar, and you can’t have sex. I wanted no part of “Can’t-trianity”. I realized much later in life that there’s much more freedom in Christianity than there is “can’t”. Some of my misinformation was simply ignorance on my part. I hadn’t read the Bible; so how was I to know what you can and can’t do? The rest of my misinformation came from Christians. And like I’ve said in other blog posts, often Christians aren’t the best examples of Christ.

I believe that many people today feel the way that I once felt about Christianity. They feel it’s just a bunch of “can’ts” that suck the fun out of life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I would like to discuss some of the “can’ts” and some of the freedoms.

1) You can’t smoke if you’re a Christian- I can find nowhere in the Bible where it addresses smoking. People shouldn’t smoke because it causes cancer. Case closed.

2) You can’t drink if you’re a Christian- Jesus drank wine. Communion often uses wine. Paul said to stop drinking, since it leads to wild living. So, if drinking causes you to sin, stop drinking. In other words, if drinking causes you to become disrespectful, neglectful, abusive, or any other unsavory adjectives, you shouldn’t drink. Otherwise, a grown adult, drinking in moderation should be okay. To me, drinking is kind of like French fries and Coke. Occasionally for dinner, I can eat French fries and wash them down with Coke. However, I wouldn’t want to do that every day.

3) You can’t have sex if you’re a Christian- God gave us sex. Shocker, huh? Therefore, he is A-okay with us having sex. He did give us some guidelines for our own good. Break open a bible, if you don’t believe me. Explore the guidelines for yourself.

Now, I completely concede that God gave us some laws. In fact, 7 of the 10 commandments deal with stuff we “can’t” do. However, how many laws does our government give us? Well, google couldn’t answer the question. There are an estimated 3,000 federal criminal laws. That number doesn’t take into account any other types of laws, such as civil laws. That also doesn’t take into account state and local laws. And we complain because God gave us only a few laws. If God only gave us a few laws and the government gives us exponentially more laws, then God obviously cares more about our freedom.

But God didn’t stop there. He knew that we couldn’t follow the few laws that He gave us. Instead of punishing us for breaking the laws, He sent His son to take the punishment for us. So, not only did He give us only a few laws to follow, He then gave us a pardon on the punishment. Does that sound like someone who is more concerned with laws, rules, and “can’t” OR does it sound like someone more concerned with our freedom?

I’m ending all my posts with an invitation to accept Jesus. If you would like at accept Jesus simply pray the following prayer or one like it: “Dear Lord, I’m a sinner. I acknowledge that You sent Your son, Jesus, to die for my sins. I humbly accept Your son, Jesus, and I now further acknowledge that I am forgiven of my past sins, my present sins, and my future sins.” If you prayed that simple prayer, you are saved. Now, you need to follow Jesus. Start reading your Bible. I would suggest starting with Matthew, reading all of the New Testament, then reading the Old Testament. Also, find a good church. Christianity was never meant to be done alone. You need to be in community with other believers.

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When God says, “I got this”

March 23, 2015 4Comments

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

I have to admit that I’m not well versed in the Old Testament. As a result, I miss some good stuff. I had actually never heard this verse until my friend, Paul, brought it to my attention. Here’s a little background information on it. During Exodus 14, Moses has led Israel out of Egypt. However, they are trapped between the Red Sea and the Egyptian army. Basically, the Israelites are freaking out, but then Moses tells them, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still”. The Red Sea is parted; the Israelites crossed; the Egyptians drowned.

Some interesting tidbits: God could have parted the sea all by Himself, but He used Moses to part the sea. Also, God didn’t simply teleport the whole nation of Israel across the sea. They had to pack up their belongings and cross themselves. Therefore, Moses and the Israelites had some responsibility to make the plan work.

There’s an old joke that goes like this: a man is drowning in the middle of the ocean. Another man comes by in a fishing boat and offers help, but the drowning man says, “No, my Lord will save me”. Then a man comes by in a yacht and offers help, but the drowning man says, “No, my Lord will save me”. Then a helicopter comes by and lowers a rope to the drowning man, but he says, “No thanks. My Lord will save me”. The man drowns. He goes to heaven, and he asks God, “Why didn’t you save me?” God responds, “I tried. I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”

So, yes, we have a responsibility to make the plans for our lives work. We have to prepare for the future. We have to save money for retirement. We have to love our spouses and raise our kids the best way we know how. But there’s a bigger lesson here-an opposite lesson. I think, as Americans, our “can do” spirit sometimes works against us. We drive ourselves crazy trying to control the plan. We become consumed saving money for retirement. We become consumed trying to control everything our spouses or kids do. We basically become consumed trying to control the plans for our lives, when we were never meant to have that much control. In Exodus 14:14, God pretty much says, “I GOT THIS”.

So, if you’re like me, and you’re starting to realize that God means it, when He says, “I got this”, one question remains….how do I know when I’ve met my responsibility? In other words, “How do I know when I’ve done all I can do and it’s time to sit back and let God do His thing?” It’s tough, and I don’t always get it right. But you have to pray and wait for God to tell you. If ask you God for an answer, He’ll respond. He may tell you in a quiet voice. He may tell you through close, Christian friend. He may tell you through a Bible verse. Or, He may tell you in some other way, but rest assured, He will tell you.

Therefore, in summary, do your part. Let God do the rest. He’s got this.

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Why does the word “Jesus” make people uncomfortable?

February 9, 2015 2Comments

Have you ever noticed that you rarely hear the word “Jesus” on regular TV? And by regular TV, I mean the major networks like NBC, ABC, and CBS. I would venture to say that we are more likely to hear profanity than the word “Jesus” on TV. Kurt Warner, former NFL and Super Bowl winning quarterback once said that he did an interview where he attributed his success to his relationship with Jesus. However, when the interview aired, all mention of Jesus had been cut out. Now, I am not a person who will try to ram Jesus down the throats of people. If I want to hear about him, I’ll just tune into one of the many Christian Networks. But this fundamental question remains: Why does the word “Jesus” make people uncomfortable?

Jesus actually predicted that his name would cause strife. Check out the two following verses:

Matthew 10:34-35Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

Matthew 5:11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Neither of the preceding verses is particularly encouraging. Taken in the greater context, Jesus, the Prince of Peace, brought peace between mankind and God. He knew that his teachings would cause conflict among mankind or cause conflict between believers and non-believers. Hence, he would turn man against his father and so forth. And furthermore, people would be persecuted in his name.

So, it’s inevitable. Jesus will cause conflict. He will make people very uncomfortable. But why?

I think it goes back to rebellion. There’s a rebellious streak in all of us. We want to do whatever we want to do. And no one will tell us what to do…..not even God. While the hardcore American values of autonomy and independence “can” be good attributes, they can also further our rebellion.

Before my walk with Jesus, I remember hearing his name and cringing. Deep down in my soul, I knew that some things weren’t right in my life. And some things, I simply didn’t care if they were right. Either way, both examples were rebellion against God. Therefore, there is a part of everyone that is rebellious to God, but there is also a part of everyone that wants to reconcile with God. The uncomfortableness with Jesus’ name is our conscious pleading with us to “get right with God by accepting Jesus”.

I’m ending all my posts with an invitation to accept Jesus. If you would like at accept Jesus simply pray the following prayer or one like it: “Dear Lord, I’m a sinner. I acknowledge that you sent your son, Jesus, to die for my sins. I humbly accept your son, Jesus, and I now further acknowledge that I am forgiven of my past sins, my present sins, and my future sins.” If you prayed that simple prayer, you are saved. Now, you need to follow Jesus. Start reading your Bible. I would suggest starting with Matthew, reading all of the New Testament, then reading the Old Testament. Also, find a good church. Christianity was never meant to be done alone. You need to be in community with other believers.

Selflessness-the Marriage Mender

Can’t-trianity or Freedom?

When God says, “I got this”

Why does the word “Jesus” make people uncomfortable?

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