kvanover@twc.com

Heavenly Father’s Day

Fathers-DayA while back, I saw a facebook post written on Father’s Day. The gentleman who wrote the post said, “I’m going out to buy my mother something for Father’s Day”. That’s comical and sad all in the same breath. It’s strange, but most people (with a few exceptions, of course) have a positive opinion of their mothers. However, the opinions of their fathers are much more diverse, and sometimes much more negative.

The negative opinions of fathers has serious consequences for churches and Christianity, in general. For instance, when I think of the term “Heavenly Father”, I immediately think of the positive attributes of my earthly father. I was blessed with a good earthly father. However, if I’d had bad earthly father, then I would probably project his negative attributes to my Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, there are people whose earthly father was so bad that they can’t possibly comprehend the greatness of their Heavenly Father. As a result, God and Christianity doesn’t have much appeal to them. I believe it is a very effective strategy of the Bad Guy to attack earthly fatherhood because it diminishes the appeal of Heavenly Fatherhood. Tony Evans, Charles Stanley, and others have also spoken about the breakdown of earthly fatherhood (and probably much more eloquently than I).

Fortunately, there are practical solutions to the problem of bad earthly fathers. The first solution is forgiveness of bad earthly fathers. Fatherhood is a hard job. Being a good father is even harder. Cut your earthly father some slack. I’m sure he made poor choices, but maybe he had a bad earthly father as well, and that bad example got passed down the hereditary line to you. The second solution is the obvious, especially if you’re a father…..become a good earthly father. Most of us already know our shortcomings. We just need to have the will and the discipline to change. If you didn’t have an example of a good earthly father, find one. Get with a pastor. He can direct you to Godly men who are also good earthly fathers.

You should also crack open your Bible because the best example of fatherhood can be found there.

 

 

Spiritual Warfare

trench_warfareIn our supposedly civilized, educated, western society, the term “Spiritual Warfare” raises more than a few eyebrows. Most people, including many Christians, think that the Spiritual Warfare is a superstitious remnant of bygone evolutionary era. The mention of the Devil and demons makes people more uncomfortable than wool underwear. Mention the Devil and demons too much and you’ll either get committed and or people will treat you like Forrest Gump on the school bus. So, why even mention it all? Primarily because I think that I’ve been called to mention it. Now, don’t get me wrong. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people who get a prompting from God, and then act on it immediately. I’ve been called to mention Spiritual Warfare for a while, and I haven’t because I didn’t want people to think I’m weird. One of my family members already said that I’ve joined a cult. While the topic is a little weird to most people, the Devil and demons are well documented throughout the Bible. And like I’ve said before, if I believe in God and Jesus, then I’m obligated to believe in the opposition.

So once we acknowledge the Devil and demons exist,  the next logical questions are: What do they do? How do they operate? The Bible says that the Devil’s goal is to “steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10). He is also described as “a lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). The keys to a healthy understanding of the Devil and demons are truth and balance. The truths: 1) They exist, 2) They were defeated on the cross, and 3) God is infinitely more powerful than they are.

So, one might ask: if they were defeated and God’s more powerful, then why consider them? It’s kind of a warfare mindset. For instance, by 1945 the Nazis knew they were going to lose World War II, but knowing the inevitable outcome of the war didn’t keep them from fighting until the bitter end and killing as many soldiers as possible. In other words, the Devil and his helpers are going to harass and oppress as many people as they can until final end of the war.

Applying the preceding knowledge to everyday life is where balance is helpful. For instance, knowing that the Devil exists helps us understand why heinous acts, such as the Charleston church shooting, happen. Although I readily admit, it doesn’t help us understand why God allows it to happen. However, I don’t think we should run wild with the idea and expect demons to be involved in every aspect of life, such food spoiling in the refrigerator or the local sports team losing a game. Also, it’s not an exoneration for bad behavior. We all know a little kid who said the Devil made me do it. However, while not an exoneration, the Devil could be a contributing factor. It appears the he works with our weaknesses and faults to stack the deck against us, so to speak. So, while we have the final choice on whether we engage in bad behavior, no doubt we have been prodded and cultivated to a certain extent along the way. Another way the Devil works is through deception. The Bible calls him “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). He can plant lies in our heads and make us believe that they are our own thoughts.

In closing, spiritual warfare can be scary stuff. Again, my advice is acknowledge it, consider it, don’t run away from it, but don’t run wild with it either. Also, my blog is, by no means, comprehensive. A more in depth study on spiritual warfare is Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and any book by Charles Kraft.

 

Faith, Hope, and Love

images-fhl1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest is love.

I was in church this morning, and I felt like God wanted me to write this blog to one of my best friends and his family. I, of course, immediately made excuses why I shouldn’t write a blog to them. You see, my friend’s mother, Alice, just passed away, and his father also passed away very recently. It takes a lot of tact to write and to speak about biblical matters at a time of mourning. And to be quite honest, without God’s help, I am not up to the job.

The Bible says that there is a time for everything under the sun. There is a time for mourning, and now is definitely the time. My friend and his family are going to miss their parents. They are going to grieve, and there are no magic words that will fix that. But even in death and especially in death, three things remain: faith, hope, and love.

We have faith. We have faith in the promises that God made through Jesus. We have faith that whoever believes in Him will have everlasting life. We have faith that Alice has a new body, one that will never get old-no more sickness and no more pain.

We have hope. We have hope in that fact that the next time we see Alice, she will be in her prime. She will be complete and perfect.

But most of all, we have love. On Friday night, Alice’s visitation was held. As expected, there was mourning, but there was also an overwhelming sense of love for Alice and the family. And it’s certainly fitting for my friend because he loves people. He is probably one of the first people I ever knew who set the example of how to love people. He is inviting, generous, and non-judging. It was really cool to see that kind of love being reciprocated on Friday night.

To my friend: we are incredibly sorry for your loss, and we are here for you. But most importantly, we love you.

 

 

 

Selflessness-the Marriage Mender

imageI promised myself that I would never write a blog about relationships because, well, I suck at relationships. Nevertheless, in an effort to make myself a liar……here it goes.

In my opinion, the most important relationship is between me and the big guy, aka Jesus. The second most important relationship is between me and my wife. I already have one failed marriage under my belt. Therefore, when I said “I do” again, I meant it. However, as the years passed, the aggravations, the hurts, and the disappointments, piled up on both of us.

Well, today my marriage is not so bad. In fact, it’s great. So, what happened? Actually, several things happened, but mainly my relationship with Jesus got better. When that relationship got better it simply trickled down into all my other relationships. Probably, the most pertinent thing I learned from Jesus is selflessness, the opposite of selfishness. It is a tough and constant lesson, but it is vital to relationships. It is especially vital in marriage.

Jesus was the most perfect example of selflessness. Since he was the son of God, he could’ve had everyone serve him. However, he chose to serve others. He spent much of his time wandering from town to town healing the sick. He said that the second most important commandment is “love your neighbor as you love yourself”. He also said, “love your enemies”. Ultimately, he was crucified, not because of anything he did wrong, but to pay the debt for all that we have done wrong. That’s some hardcore selflessness.

So, if we are supposed to be selfless enough to “love our enemies” and “love our neighbors as we love ourselves”, then how much more selfless should we be with our spouses? Ouch. It was hard, and it still is hard. But when I finally started putting her needs above mine, we had a breakthrough. Suddenly, she felt loved, and I felt respected, which was what we wanted all along. Things got better between us and quickly, too.

Being selfless will work in any relationship. It may take longer if the other person is not “on board” or if the other person has given up. The other person may also take advantage of the generosity and not reciprocate…..at first. But selflessness is contagious. Sooner or later the other person will see the changes and want to reciprocate the selflessness. That’s when the marriage gets better and life gets easier.

I’m ending all my posts with an invitation to accept Jesus. If you would like at accept Jesus simply pray the following prayer or one like it: “Dear Lord, I’m a sinner. I acknowledge that You sent Your son, Jesus, to die for my sins. I humbly accept Your son, Jesus, and I now further acknowledge that I am forgiven of my past sins, my present sins, and my future sins.” If you prayed that simple prayer, you are saved. Now, you need to follow Jesus. Start reading your Bible. I would suggest starting with Matthew, reading all of the New Testament, then reading the Old Testament. Also, find a good church. Christianity was never meant to be done alone. You need to be in community with other believers.