My Friend Shawn

I belong to a men’s group at my local church. There’s about 10 of us who meet at 0630 on Thursday mornings. As one would expect, we’ve grown very close to each other. We share our successes and our struggles. A few months ago, I gave my testimony during a morning meeting of my men’s group. Also, during that particular meeting, a new guy named Shawn Parker was present. After I gave my testimony, Shawn nearly broke down. He said that he had the same issues with anxiety that I once had. He also said that he absolutely knew that God wanted him to be at the church that morning to hear my testimony. I had actually been somewhat apprehensive to share what I had always considered to be an embarrassing part of my life. However, when I heard Shawn’s response to my testimony, I became more transparent. That day Jesus acted through Shawn to encourage me to be more transparent, to be more of a risk taker, and most importantly, to use my struggles to glorify God.

Later, we learned that Shawn was going through a nasty divorce (is there really any other kind?). Shawn was realizing how much he needed God. Although I never heard him say it directly, he knew that he had contributed greatly to his marriage’s demise. It was difficult for him, but he was trying to change his life for the better.

Well, earlier this week Shawn passed away. He was 41 years. He died of a heart attack.

There was shock, and there was mourning. Ecclesiastes 3 says that there is a time for everything, and it was a time of mourning. But for me, it was also a time of excitement. It’s hard for me to truly express it because I’m trying to be respectful and considerate of those who are still mourning. However, I’m having a difficult time containing my excitement.

You see, Shawn “finished the race”. He made it. He’s there. He’s in heaven… where everyone wants to be. He’s seeing things that I can’t even comprehend with my worldly frame of reference. He now knows more about God than anyone on Earth ever knew. He now knows the secrets to all those hard questions that humans ask, like “Why is there suffering?”, “Why do you let bad things happen to good people?”, or “Why don’t you make your presence known to everyone?”.

Presently, some people may be asking other hard questions, like “Why did God let Shawn die?” or “Why did he let Shawn die right now, especially when he was turning his life around?”. I don’t know the answers. I do know that Shawn’s death wasn’t some random act of the universe. I mean 41 year old men just don’t die of heart attacks regularly. Proverbs 3 says don’t lean on your own understanding. And really how can humans understand the workings of a being that created the universe out of nothing? Nevertheless, in the middle of my excitement for Shawn, I have questions like everyone else. I have questions that simply won’t be answered until I’m up there with my friend Shawn.